Have better conversations
April 14th, 2024 (10 months ago) • 3 minutes
Having good conversation is tough. A large part of it is because I don't know how people perceive me and I don't know what goes on in their brain.
Sometime, I find myself being excited about a particular topic and ended up taking over the conversation. It was then after the chat that I realized it and it was too late.
So I went to do a bunch of research on how to properly have conversations. Turns out it's a common problem.
I found a bunch of articles and videos that I think are helpful. Here is my summary for me to look back
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Small talks are vital. Use this to mutually establish tone and find boundaries. The topic itself is not the main point, establishing that relationship and find out how much the other person 'want to share' is your goal.
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Extend invitation if the talk is going well. Say things like 'would you mind saying more', 'care to elaborate on X?'
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Pay the right amount of attention. People generally love attention and when they perceive the words they are saying are of value. Body language and facial expressions are important here. One way that I find useful is to be regurgitative. Repeat back what they said to you.
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Be curious. Ask plenty of questions. Understand how the person think on the problem.
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Be okay with Silence. Use the time to organize your thoughts or reflect on what was conversed. It's a need pause for both of you.
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Focus on them instead of you If you notice yourself going on autopilot, it's take to take a pause and check in if they are following you.
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Good conversation don't have to go on forever. Note down their contact and keep in touch. That's it. Continue online or another time.
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