To Love and To Care
February 6th, 2024 (12 months ago) • 2 minutes
Amy Meisner maintains a blog page about abandoned things she finds and mends. One quote she has is:
Once you’ve mended something, if you didn’t have sentimental value attached to it before, then you certainly do once you’ve taken the time to care for it
I think this is a good metaphor for relationships and love in general. Care is the act of mending, and love is the feeling that comes after. While we often think only about love leading to care, we should also think about care leading to love.
We don't care because we love them; we love them because we care for them. The emphasis is on the second part, where we perform the act first before the feeling comes. It doesn't matter that at the end of the day love didn't come, but at least we know deep down we did our best to care for them.
Similar to mending, each relationship is different; there is no universal blueprint or map that can be applied to all. But there is a purpose. Like how a gardener cares for his plants (or orchids), we care for people by providing them with an environment to thrive in and grow.
Care first and love will come.